There is a lot to talk about. How to merge two households. How to do it physically and financially. How to respect each other but still be heard. How to involve my other siblings. Even the one that whines a lot! But that is all for another time. Today's story starts a month or so back...
We all got sick thanks to my sister, who passed it to me, then I passed it to my hubby and my Mom. Finally my Dad got it, but, as he is pretty immobile it took a big hit on us all. But primarily my Mom. Mom has been his main caregiver the last few years. He had a second spinal fusion in 2011 that never really worked. His recovery goal was to walk two miles every day. LOL This from a man who was having trouble walking to the mailbox. Needless to say, it has been down hill since then. Then he gets a virus, and it about put us all under.
By the time they moved in with me, Mom was helping him get cleaned up, dressed and to his lift chair which was where he would spend his days in front of the TV. She, meanwhile, tried to keep up with the shopping, cleaning, house stuff, clubs, church, yard stuff...you get the idea. It is hard at any point in life, but at 80 years old, it is impossible. So, we invited them to move in.
Fast forward a couple weeks to when he can hardly walk from the bed to the toilet, the bedroom to the living room--even with his walker. So, we start pulling him on the walker while he sits--using it like a wheelchair! He starts falling--four times one night! Which means I move upstairs to the guest room to help them in the middle of the night when he needs to get up. Until the morning that he falls between the bed and the dresser and we can't move him to help him get up. Did I mention their Lifeline necklaces?
Cue the fire department trips. The "Moose" on the team, sometimes a couple of them per team can lift a 200-pounder out of just about any tight squeeze. But we are dumbfounded to figure out how we are going to keep this from happening in the next hour, so, we let them take him by ambulance to the ER. This is where we find out a truth known to every baby-boomer with a parent in ill health. Your parent is actually not sick enough to treat! Yes, he does not have enough strength to sit up, get up or pick up anything--but the blood work looks great. Yes, he cannot walk even to the nurses station without getting tired and needing help to get back into bed--but the urine is clear. He coughs like he is going to hack up a lung--but his lungs are clear. So, there is no help in the hospital.
Now what the heck do we do?
Where do we turn?
In our case, it was follow-up with his doctor's PA that turned us onto the wonderful world of Home Health Care. With her orders, we got most of his needs in the short term covered by insurance/medicare. He has twice a week bathing. Twice a week occupational and physical therapy. And up to three times a week nursing care. This talented group of assistants got us over the hump--he is over being sick and back to the point of complaining about all his appointments and therapy! Victory!!
In our case, I hope we can turn his inertia into some exercises that take hold and help him get some lasting strength back. SO, it gives my Mom a break and gives him a better quality of life. I hope it gives Rod and I a break so that we can enjoy our time together, while helping them into the last stage of two lives well lived.
No comments:
Post a Comment