Saturday May 18 10 a.m. - 6 p.m
Sunday May 19. 9 a.m. - 2 p.m.
River Bluff Middle School
235 N Forest Dr.
Stoughton, WI
More information, events, music at:
StoughtonFestivals.com
Saturday, May 18, 2019
Stoughton WI Syttende Mai 2019
Saturday May 18 10 a.m. - 6 p.m
Sunday May 19. 9 a.m. - 2 p.m.
River Bluff Middle School
235 N Forest Dr.
Stoughton, WI
More information, events, music at:
StoughtonFestivals.com
Sunday, May 5, 2019
Lombard IL Lilac Festival
I am back in beautiful downtown Lombard for the Lilac Festival. Shower Girl's view is of the karate studio across the street. We are just in front of 105 Ground Level which is where we were last year!
There is plenty to do for everyone in the family. Hope to see you today only, May 5, 2019 until 4 p.m.
Saturday, May 4, 2019
Benefit: Butterflies for Henry
This Friday and Saturday I am set up in Waterloo, Wisconsin at the Pop-Up Palooza to benefit the Rathmann family. Their 2 year old son suffers from Epidermolysis Bullosa.
One of their family friend's, Lydia, has created beautiful, colorful magnets which she is selling for $5. All money goes to benefit Henry's family.
https://m.facebook.com/signsfromabovebyabigail/#!/story.php?story_fbid=1029847870736256&id=584519931935721&__tn__=%2As%2As-R
Friday, May 3, 2019
Back to Basics
The truth is that since the beginning of the year I have had too much on my plate. The folks deciding to move in with us was the biggie, but, that was soon followed by preparing for an estate sale, getting the house ready to sell, figuring out how to sell said house with an inground gas tank and now waiting for the closing (come on May 31st). All while doing the regular things you need to keep a business going, keep a hubby happy and your own house running. Whew.
So, in the middle of April after the sale, we still had a few things, big things to get out of their house. The big desk, some end tables, a bedroom set, etc. So, I listed them on Facebook Marketplace. I got great response from it--over two days we basically got rid of everything we needed to unload. But, my sanity took a direct hit.
Thanks to a 20 year old nut case. Who basically was supposed to show up at their house at 10 a.m. on Monday...and didn't actually get there until 1:40 p.m.. With a vehicle too small to carry off her new dresser, bureau and mirror. And told me she would be back in an hour to get the rest. And then didn't show up until after 5:30.
Oh, and the chunky Mom who just had to pick up her five year old from school and then would be over to pick up the two cardtables. Except they were already sold. And she said she knocked at the front door for 20 minutes. I was in the garage with the garage door open surrounded by stuff...and she was at the front door?! I said I was sorry the tables were gone. But, that wasn't enough for this gal. She had to berate me for six text messages on how much I sucked for selling those tables. I apologized and apologized but she wasn't having it until I said that I sucked, where should I send my pound of flesh, I was a loser and she had beaten me. She replied, not with oh I am sorry I think I went too far...but with a huge thumbs up. Really!
During the last hour of this my dear brother and niece showed up to help lift that very heavy desk into my Dad's pickup truck as the girl that was going to come get it would probably be alone and there was no way the two of us would be able to get it into her truck. But something went very wrong. First he was giving all kinds of messages that weren't computing...and he was a dick about it. I snapped, he snapped and that was the end of that. The desk was pushed to one side of the driveway. On the other side was that stupid girl's dresser. I sent the desk girl a message that I could not meet her but I was leaving her desk on the driveway and I didn't care if she paid for it. But, of course she did pay for it. Her and her Dad managed to get it into her truck and home to her two kids. And she wrote back how thrilled they all were with the lovely desk they got that day.
I wasted all of my energy on two worthless individuals--when the last gal was the one I wish I had been present to help. Oh, and of course I wish I had been civil to my brother instead of a crazy person. But worst of all--I finally met the limit's of my patience and my ability to multi-task. I was confronted with not being able to control it ALL, do it ALL and move on to the next thing. Something inside of me snapped. Literally. I could hear it kind of ripping away. I really knew I had a problem when my brother send me a text that night that said he and my sister were worried about me.
I was worried about me, too. SO worried I said I was depressed at my med check doctor's appointment a week later. Ever told your doctor you are depressed? They have to break out a special list of questions, then ask if you really want to answer them. So there you go, I am probably on some crazy person list at Blue Cross/Blue Shield. But, I was really worried. Worried enough to take it any further--since that onus is now on me? They sent me home with instructions to find out what my health insurance covers, not a referral. So I guess I am not really, really depressed.
But am I? Maybe not. Maybe I am just confronting the new, middle aged version of myself for the first time. I am no longer a Goddess. I am not a Gladiator. So, I guess my reign as Queen of the World is over. It is the end of an era, but, it won't be the end of me! LOL I have backed off many of my groups. Goodbye Facebook and all you other meetings that take up my time and don't give me the help I need right now. Hello: Council on Aging!! And any caregiver support groups I can find!
Leave your favorites in the comments, or better yet, come and drag me to the next meeting. I will be the one in my pajamas with no makeup and a couple boxes of un-shipped soap orders.
So, in the middle of April after the sale, we still had a few things, big things to get out of their house. The big desk, some end tables, a bedroom set, etc. So, I listed them on Facebook Marketplace. I got great response from it--over two days we basically got rid of everything we needed to unload. But, my sanity took a direct hit.
Thanks to a 20 year old nut case. Who basically was supposed to show up at their house at 10 a.m. on Monday...and didn't actually get there until 1:40 p.m.. With a vehicle too small to carry off her new dresser, bureau and mirror. And told me she would be back in an hour to get the rest. And then didn't show up until after 5:30.
Oh, and the chunky Mom who just had to pick up her five year old from school and then would be over to pick up the two cardtables. Except they were already sold. And she said she knocked at the front door for 20 minutes. I was in the garage with the garage door open surrounded by stuff...and she was at the front door?! I said I was sorry the tables were gone. But, that wasn't enough for this gal. She had to berate me for six text messages on how much I sucked for selling those tables. I apologized and apologized but she wasn't having it until I said that I sucked, where should I send my pound of flesh, I was a loser and she had beaten me. She replied, not with oh I am sorry I think I went too far...but with a huge thumbs up. Really!
During the last hour of this my dear brother and niece showed up to help lift that very heavy desk into my Dad's pickup truck as the girl that was going to come get it would probably be alone and there was no way the two of us would be able to get it into her truck. But something went very wrong. First he was giving all kinds of messages that weren't computing...and he was a dick about it. I snapped, he snapped and that was the end of that. The desk was pushed to one side of the driveway. On the other side was that stupid girl's dresser. I sent the desk girl a message that I could not meet her but I was leaving her desk on the driveway and I didn't care if she paid for it. But, of course she did pay for it. Her and her Dad managed to get it into her truck and home to her two kids. And she wrote back how thrilled they all were with the lovely desk they got that day.
I wasted all of my energy on two worthless individuals--when the last gal was the one I wish I had been present to help. Oh, and of course I wish I had been civil to my brother instead of a crazy person. But worst of all--I finally met the limit's of my patience and my ability to multi-task. I was confronted with not being able to control it ALL, do it ALL and move on to the next thing. Something inside of me snapped. Literally. I could hear it kind of ripping away. I really knew I had a problem when my brother send me a text that night that said he and my sister were worried about me.
I was worried about me, too. SO worried I said I was depressed at my med check doctor's appointment a week later. Ever told your doctor you are depressed? They have to break out a special list of questions, then ask if you really want to answer them. So there you go, I am probably on some crazy person list at Blue Cross/Blue Shield. But, I was really worried. Worried enough to take it any further--since that onus is now on me? They sent me home with instructions to find out what my health insurance covers, not a referral. So I guess I am not really, really depressed.
But am I? Maybe not. Maybe I am just confronting the new, middle aged version of myself for the first time. I am no longer a Goddess. I am not a Gladiator. So, I guess my reign as Queen of the World is over. It is the end of an era, but, it won't be the end of me! LOL I have backed off many of my groups. Goodbye Facebook and all you other meetings that take up my time and don't give me the help I need right now. Hello: Council on Aging!! And any caregiver support groups I can find!
Leave your favorites in the comments, or better yet, come and drag me to the next meeting. I will be the one in my pajamas with no makeup and a couple boxes of un-shipped soap orders.
Wednesday, May 1, 2019
The Cavalry has ARRIVED!
This whole multi-generational household stuff is going to take a while to get into a routine...
There is a lot to talk about. How to merge two households. How to do it physically and financially. How to respect each other but still be heard. How to involve my other siblings. Even the one that whines a lot! But that is all for another time. Today's story starts a month or so back...
We all got sick thanks to my sister, who passed it to me, then I passed it to my hubby and my Mom. Finally my Dad got it, but, as he is pretty immobile it took a big hit on us all. But primarily my Mom. Mom has been his main caregiver the last few years. He had a second spinal fusion in 2011 that never really worked. His recovery goal was to walk two miles every day. LOL This from a man who was having trouble walking to the mailbox. Needless to say, it has been down hill since then. Then he gets a virus, and it about put us all under.
By the time they moved in with me, Mom was helping him get cleaned up, dressed and to his lift chair which was where he would spend his days in front of the TV. She, meanwhile, tried to keep up with the shopping, cleaning, house stuff, clubs, church, yard stuff...you get the idea. It is hard at any point in life, but at 80 years old, it is impossible. So, we invited them to move in.
Fast forward a couple weeks to when he can hardly walk from the bed to the toilet, the bedroom to the living room--even with his walker. So, we start pulling him on the walker while he sits--using it like a wheelchair! He starts falling--four times one night! Which means I move upstairs to the guest room to help them in the middle of the night when he needs to get up. Until the morning that he falls between the bed and the dresser and we can't move him to help him get up. Did I mention their Lifeline necklaces?
Cue the fire department trips. The "Moose" on the team, sometimes a couple of them per team can lift a 200-pounder out of just about any tight squeeze. But we are dumbfounded to figure out how we are going to keep this from happening in the next hour, so, we let them take him by ambulance to the ER. This is where we find out a truth known to every baby-boomer with a parent in ill health. Your parent is actually not sick enough to treat! Yes, he does not have enough strength to sit up, get up or pick up anything--but the blood work looks great. Yes, he cannot walk even to the nurses station without getting tired and needing help to get back into bed--but the urine is clear. He coughs like he is going to hack up a lung--but his lungs are clear. So, there is no help in the hospital.
Now what the heck do we do?
Where do we turn?
In our case, it was follow-up with his doctor's PA that turned us onto the wonderful world of Home Health Care. With her orders, we got most of his needs in the short term covered by insurance/medicare. He has twice a week bathing. Twice a week occupational and physical therapy. And up to three times a week nursing care. This talented group of assistants got us over the hump--he is over being sick and back to the point of complaining about all his appointments and therapy! Victory!!
In our case, I hope we can turn his inertia into some exercises that take hold and help him get some lasting strength back. SO, it gives my Mom a break and gives him a better quality of life. I hope it gives Rod and I a break so that we can enjoy our time together, while helping them into the last stage of two lives well lived.
There is a lot to talk about. How to merge two households. How to do it physically and financially. How to respect each other but still be heard. How to involve my other siblings. Even the one that whines a lot! But that is all for another time. Today's story starts a month or so back...
We all got sick thanks to my sister, who passed it to me, then I passed it to my hubby and my Mom. Finally my Dad got it, but, as he is pretty immobile it took a big hit on us all. But primarily my Mom. Mom has been his main caregiver the last few years. He had a second spinal fusion in 2011 that never really worked. His recovery goal was to walk two miles every day. LOL This from a man who was having trouble walking to the mailbox. Needless to say, it has been down hill since then. Then he gets a virus, and it about put us all under.
By the time they moved in with me, Mom was helping him get cleaned up, dressed and to his lift chair which was where he would spend his days in front of the TV. She, meanwhile, tried to keep up with the shopping, cleaning, house stuff, clubs, church, yard stuff...you get the idea. It is hard at any point in life, but at 80 years old, it is impossible. So, we invited them to move in.
Fast forward a couple weeks to when he can hardly walk from the bed to the toilet, the bedroom to the living room--even with his walker. So, we start pulling him on the walker while he sits--using it like a wheelchair! He starts falling--four times one night! Which means I move upstairs to the guest room to help them in the middle of the night when he needs to get up. Until the morning that he falls between the bed and the dresser and we can't move him to help him get up. Did I mention their Lifeline necklaces?
Cue the fire department trips. The "Moose" on the team, sometimes a couple of them per team can lift a 200-pounder out of just about any tight squeeze. But we are dumbfounded to figure out how we are going to keep this from happening in the next hour, so, we let them take him by ambulance to the ER. This is where we find out a truth known to every baby-boomer with a parent in ill health. Your parent is actually not sick enough to treat! Yes, he does not have enough strength to sit up, get up or pick up anything--but the blood work looks great. Yes, he cannot walk even to the nurses station without getting tired and needing help to get back into bed--but the urine is clear. He coughs like he is going to hack up a lung--but his lungs are clear. So, there is no help in the hospital.
Now what the heck do we do?
Where do we turn?
In our case, it was follow-up with his doctor's PA that turned us onto the wonderful world of Home Health Care. With her orders, we got most of his needs in the short term covered by insurance/medicare. He has twice a week bathing. Twice a week occupational and physical therapy. And up to three times a week nursing care. This talented group of assistants got us over the hump--he is over being sick and back to the point of complaining about all his appointments and therapy! Victory!!
In our case, I hope we can turn his inertia into some exercises that take hold and help him get some lasting strength back. SO, it gives my Mom a break and gives him a better quality of life. I hope it gives Rod and I a break so that we can enjoy our time together, while helping them into the last stage of two lives well lived.
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